Robinhood, and the people who use it.

Let me start by saying that what Robinhood is doing by letting people put their own money to work for them instead of paying someone yearly fees or getting scammed is great. the best trick the devil ever played is telling people they couldn't invest their own money by themselves because it was too complicated or they weren't smart enough. 

But, I have an organic beef with Robinhood. Namely, because they still think at this stage of their evolution that they are still a fintech startup. That means they play fast and loose as it relates to risk, they are working on this though and by now might have it under control. However, the recent failure of their platform during the COVID19 pandemic (failed twice, I think?) plus the issues with leverage and margin they have doesn't put faith in Robinhood's platform.


The four most likely people using Robinhood and the two that really should. (all just my opinions so don't get your feathers ruffled) 


Everyone knows more screens means more money right ?

Everyone knows more screens means more money right? 

The RobinHood Options expert.

 The "RH options expert" is the one who continually buys naked out of the money put options on Tesla and tells you how wrong Elon Musk is for whatever reason they can justify in their heads because they don't know how to value a company fundamentally, build a DCF model, or even read tea leaves (technical analysis, "charts and darts") 

 When asked, "how are you accounting for the greeks that RH gives you" this person will either say something like " I just do" or launch into a tirade that sounds technical because they will use Theta and Gamma repeatedly. In reality, they don't understand it any more than a JTAC understands the difference between BOT and BOC (jokes). This one is over-leveraged to the point their parents will need to take out another mortgage, which is cool cause rates are low right now. 

This guy

This guy is the embodiment of this list (I know he's a youtube actor but still) 

The "I'm a Trader." 

 This one needs to remind everyone in the room they have open trades; they are "monitoring," and they needed to let you know. They are looking to suck you into a conversation to tell you they are a trader. They have a surface knowledge of the world of finance, and that's all they will ever need to know. In their spare time, they run multi-level marketing scams. 

 Out at dinner with a new dimey dime, this one will find a way to pull out their phone because "hang on, I just got an alert about a company I have a big play (1 share) on right now, oh I didnt tell you? I'm a trader, yeah." In the words of Instagram's @xoxofinancehoe, " If he's trying to beat, check the balance sheet." 

  hypebeast actual

The hypebeast -  

 This one probably tried to sell shoes and supreme gear first, and when they got tired of the Al Bundy jokes, they diversified. Knows a little bit of math, so they call themselves a quant investor, even though RH doesn't have any advanced studies or charting features built into it. Likely uses a simple moving average and volume numbers to tell you about their "price action" strategies. 

 If questioned will instantly throw a simple mathematical equation at you like its orbital mechanics. "Well ackchyually, the moving average can be calculated for different prices, such as the open, close, high, and low. It is a backward-looking indicator and relies on past price data to help me determine entry and exit opportunities." most likely a fast talker. 

Never question the OG

Never question the OG Warren Buffet!!

The Weed Stock/Crypto Guru 

 The weed guru is the person who got onto RH because their friend said they could buy into weed companies on there, and in their head, it's a great idea to get rich quick. Because investing money into a company that mass produces and charges a markup on a plant someone can make in their laundry room is the next big thing. 

 The Crypto connoisseur has said for years that digital money/the blockchain et al. would be the future and the next form of gold. Until COVID19 hit, and no one bought any. Want to move money internationally unseen, yeah, maybe that's the way to go. But this person will keep telling you about all of the different coins to trade like any of them have real value.  



The Young Padawan -

 You have to start somewhere, and up until recently, RH(Robinhood) was the only game in town that was offering commission-free trades. So yeah, you start here. Usually, people would begin with FOREX because the liquidity was always high, and it was easy to get leverage. FOREX frequently just got your toe in the water to learn more later after losing some money trying to predict one of the most challenging things to anticipate, currency. 

 So RH is a great place to start if you want to learn about the in's and outs. But, know this, 

 Investing involves risk. Past performance is not a guarantee or indicative of future returns. The value of your investment will fluctuate, and you may gain or lose money.


Simple Long Gamer - 

 The person who drinks Starbucks, so they make the smart decision to buy shares of Starbucks (I'm writing this during the COVID19 lockdown, so let's take the news out of the equation here). It's a simple concept. Many people aren't fans of it, but they aren't a long gamer. If I'm going to give Starbucks $6.50/day, why wouldn't I want to hold their stock long term to get some of that value back into my pocket? (this is an oversimplified example) 

 RH's platform allows you to buy-in and hold onto it for a long time, and you can build stable portfolios that way, ask any mutual fund or fixed-income manager.